Quick Raw Recap Re: CM Punk, R-Truth, and Good Wrestling

After watching last night's (06/21/11) Monday Night Raw, I turned off the TV and, for the first time in quite some time, was thrilled with the program as a whole. I feel like Raw has been a little better than usual recently, but there are still boring and wasted segments far too often. That wasn't the case last night, and three points stuck out in my mind when all was said and done, so let me briefly touch upon those.

Firstly, I have to talk about CM Punk. I am admittedly biased in favor of Punk (with Jericho gone at the moment, Punk has moved into my top spot as personal favorite), but it really sucks that the rumors were true and he's walking away for now. Still, I thought his promos were awesome, and even marked out a bit when he called himself a wrestler and actually spoke the words World Wrestling Entertainment (it's sad that on a wrestling program, you get excited when someone says taboo words such as "wrestling" or calls the company by its name, but that's the state we're in here). But ultimately, if he's going to go out, I think it was great that they decided to use his contract running out as the actual reason in storyline for his departure next month. Having that final match before his hiatus take place in Chicago, his home town, is that much more exciting.

On a side note, let me explain why Punk gets so much of my praise. To me, he's this generation's Chris Jericho, and to go further into that, I feel that both of those guys are the wrestling equivalent to a five-tool player in baseball (someone who hits for average and power, has speed, can field well, and has a strong arm...basically someone who can do it all). As it pertains to wrestling, these two have what I feel are the five "do it all" tools for pro wrestling: someone who can wrestle well within his own skill set/wrestle against any style, carry a bad opponent, cut a great promo, be entertaining as both a face and a heel, and have an intricate, interesting storyline centered around them. Jericho had it (until he returns, I sadly must refer to him in the past tense), and Punk definitely has it. It's a shame that for whatever reasons involved, he's walking away. Hopefully it won't be permanent.

Sticking with baseball analogies, if CM Punk is the equivalent to a guy in fantasy baseball who has been ranked number one all year with solid numbers across the board, then R-Truth is absolutely the guy who has been unbelievably on fire for two months straight and threatening for that spot. I always knew if they pushed Truth he would be good, but I don't think anyone could have imagined that he would have been this good. We already knew he could wrestle, but good word, every promo he cuts is a 10. When he said, "I got okie doked by Little Jimmy!", not only did I pause my DVR so I could laugh hysterically, then replay it three times in a row, but I officially named that the line of the year. If nothing else, R-Truth is, in my mind, somewhat of a throwback to attitude era heels such as Edge, Christian, and Kurt Angle. Not only do you take him seriously as a competitor and his in-storyline gripes, but he's always funny, we're always happy to see him, and the show is better for having him on it.

While I'm at it, let me not understate the importance R-Truth's creation of "Little Jimmys". As an adult male that hates John Cena (like most other adult males), we never had a name to call all of those stupid, mindless little kids who don't know any better but to cheer for Cena...they were just stupid little Cena fans. Now we have something: Little Jimmys. And dammit, that name couldn't be any more perfect and hilarious.

Speaking of R-Truth, the entire promo with him, Christian, and The Miz was complete gold. Aside from The Rock's return promo (which, let's face it, was legendary), that three man weave from last night may have been the most entertaining in-ring promo in the last few years.

Lastly, what made last night's Raw such a great show was that the matches, for the most part, were actually good, enjoyable, and had a nice pace to them. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston in the two out of three falls match was great and featured awesome WRESTLING. The triple threat match between CM Punk, Rey Mysterio, and Alberto Del Rio was excellent for the fact that unlike most WWE three ways, all three men were in the ring at the same time for a good portion of the match. Bryan Danielson against Cody Rhodes was solid, as expected, and the main event was entertaining as well (all matches like that should be elimination style, like last night).

It's amazing, but great WRESTLING + great promos = great show. Who knew.

Mobile Face-Chat is the End of Male Independence

(An alternate version of this article can be read at The Bachelor Bible.)

It’s no secret that the integration of face-to-face chatting into our society on programs such as Skype has been a huge success. Now that this form of communication has been making its way onto phones, it is becoming easier to use than ever. We've all seen the commercials. Wives can show sonograms to faraway husbands. Friends can see each others' new clothes. Hell, now it’s even easier for Brett Favre to expose his penis to unsuspecting women over the phone (alright, this isn't a commercial...yet). But just like anything else that ostensibly seems good, it will always end up being used for evil. I won’t even get into how parents now have to fear for their young daughters showing real-time videos of their growing boobies to strange boys during bathroom breaks of their sixth-grade earth science class. 

What I’m talking about here is how women in relationships will begin to exploit this feature to keep their boyfriends and husbands on lock down. As is stands now, most of these apps, such as the iPhone's FaceTime, can only be used where WiFi is available. But as devices like the HTC Evo 4G has proven, technology is advancing enough where, in the not too distant future, most people will have the capability of face-chatting anywhere. So by now, you might be wondering what exactly this has to do with the end of male independence.

Well, this means that for men who just want to get out of the house and do guy-stuff, they will no longer have an answer for the “Where the hell are you?!” text message that they inevitably receive when they are expected to be home. Because whatever excuse is given, the reply will always be simple: “show me.” A guy can only use the no service or dead battery excuse for about a week before suspicion arises. A picture message is no good, because there’s no proof that it is real-time. And "my phone broke" isn't exactly going to cut it. There will be no logical response for the guy, and he’ll be screwed.

Sure, the good part of this is that it is going to make things a lot tougher for cheaters (I don’t think a guy will be able to convincingly video-chat from a cheap motel room). But it’s also the end of “I have to stay late at work” actually meaning “I’m going to grab a few drinks with the guys,” and that never really hurt anyone, did it? We all remember the classic Seinfeld line, “You’re killing independent George.” Now replace the word “George” with “men”. That’s what’s going to happen here.

There are plenty of ladies that will be affected from this by overbearing men as well. But, and in an attempt to not sound chauvinistic, it's true that this has more of a social impact on guys. In fact, I’ve already said too much for fear of a woman getting ideas by reading this. Let's just face it: the era of men in relationships getting away with harmless fun is about to be over. When the revolution arises, don't say that you haven't been warned.

NFL Week 14 Picks

For those of you who don't know, I love gambling. Even when I don't have money to risk betting on games (which, of course, is pretty often in my case), I always make sure I check the lines and odds on games in all sports, so as something new for this blog, I'll throw my picks up here. Week 14 is pretty late in the season to start doing this, you are probably thinking. Well, considering this blog is barely more than a week old, what better time to start than now? Although this is technically being posted early Sunday morning because I got a late jump, all lines are current as of Saturday.

Colts (-3.5) over TITANS
I won't lie. I totally said earlier this week that I would have picked Indy, and I totally would have gotten burned by that stupid backdoor cover.


Raiders (+3.5) over JAGUARS
I flip-flopped a lot on this pick. On one hand, the Raiders are impossible to figure out and it would be typical of them for a let-down after last week's upset in San Diego. On the other hand, I just have a hunch that the Jags are due for a loss, especially when we can all see the Colts inevitably coming back and eventually leapfrogging them for the division. Plus I think both teams are going to run the ball very effectively here and it could come down to the final minutes.


STEELERS (-8.5) over Bengals
Yes, I know that Cincinnati usually plays them close, and if anything this has backdoor cover written all over it, but the Steelers are really good and the Bengals are really bad. Simple analysis like that can often get people in trouble with big spreads, but I'll take my chances here anyway.


Patriots (-3) over BEARS
I thought the Pats were the best team in football before they obliterated the Jets. What I do like here, though, is for this game to hit the over of 38 points.


Browns (PK) over BILLS
I'm worried that Cleveland tends to play down to their opponents and that Jake Delhomme is really, really horrible. A great fantasy play is to just start whatever defense is playing him because he almost guarantees that you'll get touchdown points from them. I just don't trust Buffalo enough, and Hillis should be able to run all over the place.


Packers (-6.5) over LIONS
Green Bay should score enough points in this game to put it out of reach by mid-way of the third quarter. I kind of like the under at 46.5, because I can see this game being 31-10.


PANTHERS (+7.5) over Falcons
This game just smells of one of those "much closer than you think" games. The funny thing is that if Atalanta is going to cover, we'll probably know by the end of the first quarter.


REDSKINS (+1) over Buccaneers
Who knows what to make of Washington from one week to the next. This game is more about the Bucs continuing to come back down to earth in the wins-loss department. Feels like the Skins win a close one in the final minutes or in overtime here.


SAINTS (-9) over Rams
From a lot of the articles I've been reading this week, the Rams seem to be a trendy pick here, which scares me. Admittedly, I do like the direction that St. Louis is going in and I think Bradford leads them to the division. But I think people are overvaluing them and they are playing the Saints, on the road, who have been playing excellent football. Just not sure if the Rams are ready for this game yet, but for non-gambling purposes, this game is truly a huge test for them moving forward.


Seahawks (+5) over 49ERS
I don't trust Seattle on the road one bit, but I'll take five points over Alex Smith against anyone. Two other things I like about this game: under 41.5 total points and Seattle's money line (+$195). This is how little confidence I have in Alex Smith.


Dolphins (+5.5) over JETS
Yes, I'm taking the "these games are always close" theory on this one; if the Jets cover, then tip your cap. Also, I love this game to go under 39.


Broncos (-4) over CARDINALS
Arizona is just flat out awful, and is starting its second rookie at quarterback this season. I feel like I like a lot of unders this week, but I can't see the Cards scoring enough in their position to make this game go over 43.5 points.


CHARGERS (-9.5) over Chiefs
Putting last week's debacle aside, this is the type of game San Diego always wins, and whatever opponent they are battling for the division keels over and dies. Throw in Kansas City being forced to start a quarterback who is 0-9 in his career, and I'd be stunned if the Chargers didn't win this game by more than 20.


Eagles (-3.5) over COWBOYS
My instinct is telling me to pick Dallas because they are playing really inspired football now that Wade Phillips is no longer around, and you should rarely go against your instinct, but I just think Philly is really good. No disrespect to the Falcons, but I still feel the Eagles are the best team in the NFC.

VIKINGS (+3) over Giants
Moved to Monday night because of weather conditions, which may help the Giants get over some lag being stuck at the airport on a connecting flight this weekend. Still, all the travel has to play some role here, plus Minnesota historically plays well against the Giants. I like the under (which is weird because I',m generally not an under kind of guy) again in this game if I'm going to bet anything, which sits at 43.


Ravens (-3) over TEXANS
No way the Ravens lose this game if the North is going to come down to the wire, which we know it is, right? Don't feel totally confident about it, though.


Some good teaser options: STEELERS (-2.5) allows a Pittsburgh field goal win to for you, or if you really think this game is going to be close, then Bengals (+14.5) is a really nice number. Also, consider Packers (-0.5), Falcons, (-1.5), Seahawks (+11), and TEXANS (+9).

Raw Recap & Thoughts (12/06/10)

As something new for this blog, being the nerdy wrestling fan that I am, each week I will write some thoughts on the latest addition of Raw. I may also attempt to do a separate one for TNA Impact. I don't get a chance to watch Smackdown, so that one will be left out. Anyway, let's go.

• First, I want to say that I enjoyed last week's King of the Ring Raw and thought it came off well. My only thought is based on Sheamus winning the KOTR tournament. I don't dislike him, and felt that he should have won...if they did the tournament last year. The King of the Ring is the best stepping stone to being considered legit, so after winning the WWE title twice this past year, I don't see what Sheamus' character has to gain by becoming king. If WWE is all about this youth movement, they should have let one of the up-and-comers on the main event cusp win this thing. 

• I thought this week's opening segment was excellent. Michael Cole might be annoying to many, but he absolutely nailed his role on the mic to open up, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but if he wasn't an announcer, he could make an awesome heel manager. Also, I think CM Punk is an amazing change of pace on commentary. He's had various great moments so far, and I loved him mocking Cole by reading from the laptop. If there's anything that could help him go face when he returns to the ring, this commentator gig could be his ticket.

• I'm still kind of confused as to where exactly they're going putting the Bella Twins with Daniel Bryan, or if they're even going anywhere. Is it to give Bryan a lame ladies man gimmick, to turn one of the Bellas heel, or to just give the twins air time? I'd be fine if they quit the flirtatious angle and just gave Bryan both as a dual manager thing. Who knows. Also, I don't know if it was intentional or not, but Punk cut himself off when calling the US champ "Bryan Dan-", but it was definitely a cool homage.

• The nanosecond that you saw Otunga via satellite from a hotel room, you would have bet your life that Cena was going to be there, right? Anyway, if he wasn't married to a semi-famous woman, there's no way Otunga is still wrestling. The guy just has no discernible skills, especially at promos. He just doesn't have the voice to match his look.

• So Tyson Kidd has some new guy with him; of course the commentators have never seen him before and offer no help. Imagine if real announcers were this uninformed? Can you imagine Joe Buck going: "Looks like the Mets are going to pull Santana here and...who's that guy coming out of the bullpen? I've never seen him before but he looks huge. What about you, Tim?" And then Tim McCarver answers: "I have no idea who this guy is or have even heard of him in the minor leagues, but if he throws three strikes to this batter he'll strike him out." Actually, I can totally imagine those two clowns doing that; terrible example on my part, but you get the idea. Anyway, typical big oaf-looking guy, and I'd be surprised if he's in WWE in three years from now. 

• Damn, how close was that hotel Otunga just came from? Was it attached to the building? Or is he just really, really fast?

• Even if it is just to set up an eventual Cena interference, I love that the tag team titles are getting more than a four minute match, and a four-way elimination at that! (Can't express how much better elimination is over first pin-fall.) I also can't express how much I love Gabriel and Slater as a tag team. These guys just look the part, and if WWE were to promote them properly, they could be great in the tag division. Unfortunately, as is blatantly obvious by half of the teams in this match, WWE doesn't have a tag team division. I mean, Henry/Tatsu as a team? Are those seriously the two most polar opposite people on the roster? I know WWE was trying to enhance the "Cena screws Nexus" story, but I think it sucks that they took the belts off them so soon. Punk referring to Cena in purple as the Grimace was priceless. Oh, and the double team Samoan Drop move that the Usos pulled off was awesome.

• Quick note on Nexus: I love them. I've been thrilled that there is finally a stable around and I hope it's a while before they get broken up. Honestly though, I think if they dumped the dead weight and had Barrett main eventing, and Slater/Gabriel as a tag team, that would be a really good trio.

• Before Morrison eventually joked about it, the first thing I thought seeing Sheamus in the robe and crown was that he should be followed by elves and hobbits down to the ring. I don't know, it's not bad and it is different, but I just feel as if this feud has no substance to it. Maybe it's because Morrison just came out each week for no reason and stopped Sheamus from bullying Santino, another guy he has no connection with. I can't help but feel that Morrison would be able to take himself even higher in TNA. He seems almost restricted with the minimal mic time he gets as a face. Yeah, bow down to the king, so obviously Triple H is returning soon.

• I know that LayCool is supposed to be annoying, but, um, LayCool is really annoying...and not in a good way. I feel that WWE has done their job with heels when as a fan, you enjoy to hate them. With LayCool, I don't want to hate them, I just want them gone.

• It is amazing that Melina has pretty much become irrelevant now after how long she was in the spotlight for. I'm not saying it's bad or good, it's just that any time I see her, I think, "Wow that's right, I forgot she was on the roster." It's crazy that WWE can so successfully phase people out like that.

• The Miz said something that he also said on Bill Simmons' BS Report a few days ago that I liked, which was along the lines of him wanting to be the most surprising champion in history. I think that's a great angle to play. It also made me think of something else: I can't for the life of me remember one important or entertaining moment of Randy Orton's previous title reign, and it just happened. The Miz is already awesome as champ.

• Onto the last segment. Before I go off on a tangent, there were a few awesome things worth mentioning. Punk screaming "my diet soda!" while Cena and Barrett were battling near the desk made me laugh out loud. Cena then politely handing Punk his diet soda while taking apart the desk was a great improv as well. Then the whole storyline twist they threw in about the dissension within Nexus was really well done, I thought.

• Here's the thing (and I actually have enjoyed the Nexus/Cena angle). Admittedly, I'm a stickler for logic, which I know you often can't be in the realm of pro wrestling. I understand that, but there are more plot holes in this storyline than the entire Star Wars saga. First, Barrett never had the power to fire Cena. Cena just had to listen to him or else he was fired. And now all of a sudden he has the power to rehire him? Why is Cena holding multiple tickets when he only needs one seat? Cena doesn't work there, but automatically gets his music played at the end of the show? Where the hell is security? I really hope fans start jumping the barricade and get taken out by security to show how stupid the Cena thing really looks. Seriously, it goes on and on. I'm interested in seeing what happens, but good lord they've taken a lot of liberties with the fans' ability to suspend their level of disbelief.

Anyway, that about wraps up my thoughts on Raw for this week. It wasn't as good as it has been in recent weeks, but it was still solid. Agree or disagree with anything I've said? Don't be afraid to post a comment below this post.

Jets/Patriots Can Hardly Be Considered Rivalry

     After reading, watching, and listening to all of the hype for a week about the Jets vs. Patriots game and then watching it unfold in horrific fashion at Foxboro (if you are a Jets fan, like myself), what I had already believed heading in was now confirmed: this is barely even a rivalry. It can't be when the Brady/Belichick Patriots continually turn the Jets aside in big moments. Really, this was an easy game to predict; this is the type of game the Pats always win and the Jets always lose, whether they're facing each other or not. New England winning would be as easy as Steve Nash shooting a free throw...and it was.

     On an interesting side note, another red flag was how little attention the Ravens/Steelers matchup was garnering in comparison, especially when each time these teams meet, it's generally the best game of the week. Sure, I can understand that from a business standpoint that much of these ESPN-focused headlines all week had to be due in part to Monday Night Football airing on their network, while the Sunday night game does not, but it was still a little alarming. When I started to notice the difference in focus between these two games, one of my first thoughts was that Pittsburgh/Baltimore would be great, and the Monday night game would be less than stellar. Unfortunately, my prediction here was right.

     Getting back to Patriots/Jets, the Patriots came into the game ranked last in total defense, while the Jets' defense is highly praised. Yet, the Pats dropped 45 while the Jets could score just three. Granted, the New England offense is more dynamic, but with all the names the Jets have, it shouldn't be far enough ahead to offer the result of a 45-3 shellacking. Looking back at the past decade, though, this is the sort of result that we've become accustomed to, because in any big situation, the Patriots are going to bring everything they've got; with the Jets, often times we don't know what type of effort they have in store.

     It may be a rivalry for the fans, and there have been a ton of off-the-field stuff to support that case between the two franchises, but it can barely be considered anything more than a feud when one team consistently spanks the other in big time situations on game day. By my account, the Jets are 5-15 against the Patriots since Tom Brady has been a starter, and nine of those losses have been by double-digits, one in which came in the playoffs. Only twice have the Jets returned the favor in the same fashion (with win margins of 14 and 13).

     The Jets just aren't there yet. Certainly, they are in a better position as a franchise than they have been at any other point of the rivalry/feud, and as a whole, these aren't the "same old Jets". But it can hardly be said that they've officially turned a corner until they win one of these type of high-profile games, especially against the Patriots. In any type of rivalry game, both teams, no matter how good or bad, have to show up every time. Too often against New England, the Jets don't even do that.